half a bucket...

For me, one of first signs of loneliness is Half a bucket of water.... The first thing I do when I'm alone is to fill half a bucket of water and keep it in the bathroom.... as a contingency measure in case, water decides to run out on me and I dont have anyone to get me out of this predicament.. and as I look into that lonely bucket, I see only myself... I dont think there is anything as depressing as the sight of looking at your reflection in the mirror and realizing that you are alone in that reflection...

I always feel that the world is divided into two kinds of people.... People who love themselves and people who hate themselves.... I dont see much scope of people being indifferent about themselves.... Either you are a narcissist or you are masochist, no middle ground.... There is no harm in being either one of the two; as long as it doesn't become conspicuously obvious in your behavior towards the outside world... also, the way you feel about yourself is quite dynamic by nature.... in a span of moments, you might go from loving yourself to hating yourself... so what ever you are feeling right now, this too shall pass...

One more, rather, strong belief of mine is that it is really very hard to lie to oneself... you really have to be desperate in order to do that with even some degree of perfection..... hence, reflections are quite revealing.... in that bucket of water, I see myself.... and the way I see myself will determine if I'll be depressed or not.... sometimes I'm not.... right now I am... I did not wrong in the recent past... I have no guilt bearing on my soul.... and that's the problem with your perception about yourself.... it is hardly ever logical.... and even rarer to have some proof to substantiate your views about yourself....